I Wish….

Portrait of a girl holding a parasolI wish I could go back to the time
When,
“Getting High” meant “On a Swing”
When,
“Drinking” meant “Lemonade”
When,
Dad was the only “HERO”
When,
“Love” was “Mom’s Hug”
When,
Dad’s shoulder was “the Highest place on Earth”
When,
Our Worst Enemies were “our Siblings”
When,
The only thing that could “Hurt” was a “Skinned Knee”
When,
The only things “Broken” were our “Toys” and
When,
“Goodbyes” only meant “Till Tomorrow”
As a child always used to wonder that when I grow up, everything will be as per my wishes and under my control! What an illusion!  I cherish my childhood.  😦

Technical Terminology in Non-technical World

LOG ON :
Adding wood to make the barbie hotter.

LOG OFF:

Not adding any more wood to the barbie.

MONITOR:
Keeping an eye on the barbie.

DOWNLOAD:
Getting the firewood off the ute.

HARD DRIVE:
Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies.

KEYBOARD:
Where you hang the ute keys.

WINDOW:
What you shut when the weather’s cold.

SCREEN:
What you shut in the mozzie season.

BYTE:
What mozzies do.

MEGABYTE:
What Townsville mozzies do.

CHIP:
A bar snack.

MICROCHIP:

What’s left in the bag after you’ve eaten the chips.

MODEM:
What you did to the lawns.

LAPTOP:
Where the cat sleeps.

SOFTWARE:
Plastic knives & forks.

HARDWARE:
Stainless steel knives & forks.

MOUSE:

The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.

MAINFRAME:
What holds the shed up.

WEB:

What spiders make.

WEBSITE:

Usually in the shed or under the verandah.

SEARCH ENGINE:

What you do when the ute won’t go.

CURSOR:
What you say when the ute won’t go.

YAHOO:
What you say when the ute does go.

UPGRADE:
A steep hill.

SERVER:
The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.

MAIL SERVER:
The bloke at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.

USER:

The neighbour who keeps borrowing things.

NETWORK:
What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.

INTERNET:
Where you want the fish to go.

NETSCAPE:

What the fish do when they discover the hole in the net.

ONLINE:
Where you hang the washing.

OFFLINE:
Where the washing end’s up when the pegs aren’t strong enough.

Slang help –
Barbie: Barbecue
Mozzie: Mosquitoes
Ute: Utility Vehicle

Bushisms = Funny Quotes by George W. Bush

For beginners,
Bushism = peculiar words, phrases, pronunciations, malapropisms, semantic or linguistic errors and gaffes that have occurred in the public speaking of United States President George W. Bush.

Sovereignity as per Bush:

Sovereignity as per dictionary:

sov-er-eign-ty (noun)

1. The power of a country (or group) to control its own government.

2. Complete independence and self-government.

3. Royal rank, authority, or power.

Here is a compilation of a bunch of funny quotes by the American president:

I’m conservative, but I’m not a nut about it.

This administration is doing everything we can to end the stalemate in an efficient way. We’re making the right decisions to bring the solution to an end.

As Luce reminded me, he said, without data, without facts, without information, the discussions about public education mean that a person is just another opinion.

There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee…that says, fool me once, shame on…shame on you. Fool me…you can’t get fooled again.

Our nation must come together to unite.

In my sentences I go where no man has gone before.

I have a different vision of leadership. A leadership is someone who brings people together.

A lame duck session, for people who don’t know what that means, it means the Senate is coming and the House is coming back between now and Christmas and they’ve got a few days to get some big things done.

He can’t have it both ways. He can’t take the high horse and then claim the low road.

For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It’s just unacceptable. And we’re going to do something about it.

I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose, “You disarm, or we will.”

Leadership to me means duty, honor, country. It means character, and it means listening from time to time.

Whether or not it needed to happen, I’m still convinced it needed to happen. [explaining why he sent U.S. troops into Iraq, Dec. 12, 2005]

As governor of Texas, I have set high standards for our public schools, and I have met those standards.

I appreciate that question because I, in the state of Texas, had heard a lot of discussion about a faith-based initiative eroding the important bridge between church and state.

People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history.

I mean, there needs to be a wholesale effort against racial profiling, which is illiterate children.

Should any Iraqi officer or soldier receive an order from Saddam Hussein…. don’t follow that order. Because if you choose to do so, when Iraq is liberated, you will be treated, tried and persecuted as a war criminal.

See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda.

The law I sign today directs new funds and new focus to the task of collecting vital intelligence on terrorist threats and on weapons of mass production.

One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.

Too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many OB/GYN’s aren’t able to practice their, their love with women all across this country.

It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.

We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor just like you like to be liked yourself.

We look forward to analyzing and working with legislation that will make — it would hope — put a free press’s mind at ease that you’re not being denied information you shouldn’t see.

You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.

There’s not going to be enough people in the system to take advantage of people like me.

There’s only one person who hugs the mothers and the widows, the wives and the kids upon the death of their loved one. Others hug but having committed the troops, I’ve got an additional responsibility to hug and that’s me and I know what it’s like.

We cannot let terrorists hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile.

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case.

I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what’s moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves.

I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well.

If you find a neighbor in need, you’re responsible for serving that neighbor in need, you’re responsible for loving a neighbor just like you’d like to love yourself.

I can’t wait to join you in the joy of welcoming neighbors back into neighborhoods, and small businesses up and running, and cutting those ribbons that somebody is creating new jobs.

They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it’s some kind of federal program.

That woman who knew I had dyslexia: I never interviewed her.

Will the highways on the Internet become more few?

We look forward to hearing your vision, so we can more better do our job. That’s what I’m telling you.

Washington is a town where there’s all kinds of allegations. You’ve heard much of the allegations. And if people have got solid information, please come forward with it. And that would be people inside the information who are the so-called anonymous sources, or people outside the information — outside the administration. (September 30, 2003)

One of the common denominators I have found is that expectations rise above that which is expected.

I mentioned early on that I recognize there are hurdles, and we’re going to achieve those hurdles.

We are ready for any unforeseen event which may or may not happen.

I understand small business growth. I was one.

I believe the results of focusing our attention and energy on teaching children to read and having an education system that’s responsive to the child and to the parents, as opposed to mired in a system that refuses to change, will make America what we want it to be — a more literate country and a hopefuller country.

The administration I’ll bring is a group of men and women who are focused on what’s best for America, honest men and women, decent men and women, women who will see service to our country as a great privilege and who will not stain the house.

And here I saved the best for the last:

Got a Bushism, do not hesitate to add.