CREATIVE PUNS FOR ‘EDUCATED MINDS’

  1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.  He acquired his size from too much pi.
  2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
  3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
  4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
  5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
  6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
  7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
  8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
  9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
  10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.   The police are looking into it.
  12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.  One hat said to the other, ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.
  14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’
  16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.  When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘ No change yet.’
  17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
  18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
  19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
  20. A backward poet writes inverse.
  21. In democracy it’s your vote that counts.  In feudalism it’s your count that votes.
  22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
  23. Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

Gmail goes Offline!

Guess what’s cooking at Google Labs? Not cooking anymore, rather already served but only to user of US or UK English. Offline Support for Gmail!

With Offline Support for Gmail you can now use Gmail without an Internet connection, just like you can with desktop mail clients like Outlook. Yes, web-based email is great because you can check it from any computer, but there’s one little catch: it’s inherently limited by your internet connection. But with Offline Gmail support, as per Google’s Andy Palay “as long as you’re connected to the network, that cache is synchronized with Gmail’s servers. When you lose your connection, Gmail automatically switches to offline mode, and uses the data stored on your computer’s hard drive instead of the information sent across the network. You can read messages, star and label them, and do all of the things you’re used to doing while reading your webmail online. Any messages you send while offline will be placed in your outbox and automatically sent the next time Gmail detects a connection.”

Here’s the video explaining how it all works:
 

This feature is experimental and hence you may face certain bugs that still needs fixing. You can find it via “Labs” under the “Settings” tab.

Follow these steps to get started:

  1. Click Settings and click the Labs tab.
  2. Select Enable next to Offline Gmail.
  3. Click Save Changes. 

You are done. Now when your browser reloads, you’ll see a new “Offline0.1” link in the upper righthand corner of your account, next to your username. Click this link to start the offline set up process and download Gears if you don’t already have it.

Slumdog Millionaire – Review

Watched Slumdog Millionaire last night. In a sentence: I LOVED IT!

Yes I strongly detest piracy, but then just couldn’t wait till the movie’s release in India and didn’t think twice before getting hold of a pirated DVD. I guess confessing here will bring down my guilt level.

So getting to the movie, Slumdog Millionaire follows the story of a young man Jamal(Dev Patel) from the slums of Mumbai who goes on to win 20,000,000 Rupees on the Indian version of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?“. Directed by Danny Boyle and written by Simon Beaufoy, the movie is based on the novel Q and A by Indian author and diplomat Vikas Swarup. Jamal’s story is told in flashbacks of the distant past, recent past and present flowing in and out seamlessly. The movie opens with Jamal being accused of cheating on the TV show. During the course of interrogation by the chief inspector, his story unfolds in a pretty remarkable manner. Through the flashbacks, it is revealed how Jamal answers each of the questions on the TV show not from book knowledge — he has none — but his own life experiences. Jamal’s life experiences are humorous, surprising and, on a few occasions, absolutely devastating.  Jamal is searching for two people from his childhood: his wild older brother Salim (Madhur Mittal), now a thief and killer, and his childhood sweetheart Latika, now stepping up from child prostitute to plaything of a gangster.  What I loved most is the love story aspect of the movie – how Jamal feels true love and would do anything to get his true love. His belief in destiny, about it all being written, about overcoming all the odds to get the one you love kinda echoes my beliefs(know I am a die-hard romantic). The love interest is played by the lovely Freida Pinto.

Critics in India has been bashing the movie for portrayal of India with slums, poverty, crime, child-prostitution but then one must accept these are realities in India and just hiding it or acting it’s not there, doesnt solve these issues are much worse than what a movie can depict. 

With Slumdog Millionaire sweeping the coveted awards of Best Director, Best Film, Best Screenplay and Musical Score at the Golden Globes,  all eyes are now on Academy Awards. A R Rahman, becoming the first Indian to win a Golden Globe for scoring the music of the film. So the movie maybe about a slumdog, but the movie is a top dog.

I’m really looking forward to seeing this one again when it releases in India. 

Till then, watch a teaser:

My suggestion: Go watch it!

Things They Don’t Teach You at School

  • They don’t teach you how to love somebody. 
  • They don’t teach you how to be famous. 
  • They don’t teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. 
  • They don’t teach you how to walk away from someone you don’t love any longer. 
  • They don’t teach you how to know what’s going on in someone else’s mind. 
  • They don’t teach you what to say to someone who’s dying. 

How guys select the girl they want to marry

A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry.

He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total makeover.
She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, purchases new make-up and buys several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man.

She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man is impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts.
She gets him a new set of STRONG golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes.As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market.
She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money.

Guess which lady he chose to marry?

Think like a man . . .

(scroll down for the answer)

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He married the most beautiful one!!!!!!

Men are Men…. Obviously!!! 🙂

NDTV Turns 20 Today

logo_newI can distinctly recall growing up watching The World This Week, which was a weekly affair. Only because of this news programme that we were allowed to watch TV on Friday nights. Prannoy Roy looking dashing with his trademark beard surely was very impressive. In those old Doordarshan days, the news bulletin was surely a great relief. As time passed NDTV has expanded and is now a network. As NDTV(New Delhi Television) turned 20 today and they have put up a small capsule on their site here which recounts their journey. Watch out for Prannoy Roy who talks passionately about their humble beginning and especially the part where he talks about his wife, Radhika Roy, the real brain behind the channel.
http://www.ndtv.com/convergence/ndtv/ndtv20/ndtv.aspx

NDTV scores a cut above the rest with their Clarity, audio, video coverage and delivery. The whole package is very pleasingly acceptable. This is one team which has not let me down in so many years!

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi Trailer

Finally the first promo of Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi was officially released on the occassion of  Shahrukh Khan’s birthday, i.e., on 2nd November. Th promo is of the song “Haule Haule” featuring Shahrukh Khan and newcomer Anushka Sharma. Not wasting any more time, here go watch the trailer. 

 

Download wallpaper of Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi