Marital Woes

Really found these funny. Good for a laugh!!!

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

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Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.

Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

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Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

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Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

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It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered

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It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives.

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If u r married please ignore this MSG,
For everyone else: Happy Independence Day

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Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.
After marriage, he’ll fall asleep before you finish.

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There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage

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Girlfriends r like chocolates, taste good anytime.

Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.

Wife r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice.

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Man receives telegram: Wife deadshould be buried or cremated?
Man: Don’t take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

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Prospective husband: Do you have a book called ‘Man, The Master of Women’?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

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Q: Why dogs don’t marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog’s life!

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There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going through hell.

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Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!

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Q: Why doesn’t law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!

Happy Mother’s Day

A man stopped at a flower shop for ordering some flowers to be sent as a gift to his mother who lived two hundred miles away.

As he got out of his car he noticed a young girl sitting on the curb sobbing. He asked her what was wrong and she replied, “I wanted to buy a red rose for my mother. But I only have seventy-five cents, and a rose costs two dollars.”

The man smiled and said, “Come on in with me. I’ll buy you a rose.” He bought the little girl her rose and ordered his own mother’s flowers.

As they were leaving he offered the girl a ride home. She said, “Yes, please! You can take me to my mother.”

She directed him to a cemetery, where she placed the rose on a freshly dug grave. The man returned to the flower shop, canceled the gifting order, picked up a bouquet and drove the two hundred miles to his mother’s house.
At times we take many such relationships with our family and friends for granted. Learn to value them.

Best Wishes for Mothers Day!