CREATIVE PUNS FOR ‘EDUCATED MINDS’


  1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.  He acquired his size from too much pi.
  2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
  3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
  4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
  5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
  6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
  7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
  8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
  9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
  10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.   The police are looking into it.
  12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.  One hat said to the other, ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.
  14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’
  16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.  When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘ No change yet.’
  17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
  18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
  19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
  20. A backward poet writes inverse.
  21. In democracy it’s your vote that counts.  In feudalism it’s your count that votes.
  22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
  23. Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
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21 thoughts on “CREATIVE PUNS FOR ‘EDUCATED MINDS’

  1. Open minded to different cultures and learning new things. Adriana Love

  2. Lol! 🙂 I’ll be using some of these as my status msgs! 🙂

  3. good one’s (pun intended)

  4. Really liked it.

  5. Wow, these were very cheesy. Lame.

  6. Ah, I feel like there is a lot of puntification going on around here. Thank you. It was very punny.

  7. @PJ Thanx for your puntastic comment!! 🙂

  8. Very clever – a good pun is it’s own reword!

  9. the pursuit of happiness…an agile mind and a willing heart….two good friends

  10. Found this on StumbleUpon. Very funny! Thanks 🙂

  11. #12 is from George Carlin.

  12. #

    Open minded to different cultures and learning new things. Adriana Love
    #
    Arslan
    March 23, 2009 at 1:04 pm | #2
    Quote

    Lol! 🙂 I’ll be using some of these as my status msgs! 🙂
    #
    vikram
    March 24, 2009 at 4:04 am | #3
    Quote

    good one’s (pun intended)
    #
    Sudheer
    November 30, 2009 at 4:21 am | #4
    Quote

    Really liked it.
    #
    Isar
    November 30, 2009 at 5:03 am | #5
    Quote

    Wow, these were very cheesy. Lame.
    #
    PJ
    November 30, 2009 at 7:43 am | #6
    Quote

    Ah, I feel like there is a lot of puntification going on around here. Thank you. It was very punny.
    #
    Bill L
    November 30, 2009 at 11:48 am | #7
    Quote

    Very clever – a good pun is it’s own reword!
    #
    stevene
    November 30, 2009 at 4:34 pm | #8
    Quote

    the pursuit of happiness…an agile mind and a willing heart….two good friends
    #
    Meitar
    November 30, 2009 at 8:27 pm | #9
    Quote

    Found this on StumbleUpon. Very funny! Thanks 🙂
    #
    Max
    December 1, 2009 at 12:09 am | #10
    Quote

    #12 is from George Carlin.

  13. Arslan :
    Lol! I’ll be using some of these as my status msgs!

    faggot

  14. If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

  15. The shortest distance between two puns in a straight line.

  16. vikram :
    good one’s (pun intended)

    Not only is that not a pun it’s bad grammar too.

  17. Punjana tea

  18. how about creative puns for “retards.”

  19. Puns make Jesus puke.

  20. any retard could understand these lame puns.

  21. Pingback: I Judge You When You Use Poor Grammar « 49firstdates

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