Defining words on my own terms!

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

Divorce: Future tense of marriage

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”.

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.

Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway “See I am not injured yet.”

Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest… except that he got caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

WHAT IS LOVE?

Love is a slow kiss goodnight.
It’s anticipation.

Love is flirting outrageously and still remembering that the person at your side is not obligated to do anything.
It’s respect.

Love is an imperfection in yourself not bothering you.
It’s acceptance.

Love is passing up an opportunity because the time isn’t right yet.

It’s patience.

Love is a back massage that starts above the hairline and ends around the insoles.
It’s exploration.

Love doesn’t not have to say, “Let’s make love”, because you know what the other person wants.
It’s understanding.

Love is being given an honest chance to say no when you thought you were committed.
It’s consideration.

Love is saying the perfect phrase to make a solemn embrace dissolve into giggles.
It’s humor.

Love is reviewing the damage to your living room and realizing personal effects are strewn in a clockwise pattern from the front door the to bedroom.

It’s abandonment.

Love is seeing what your love really looks like for the first time.
It’s truth.

Love is knowing what time it is and not caring.
It’s joy.

Love is

Love is seeing a new side of a person you thought you knew.
It’s renewal.

Love is telling a person if you have to leave, you will let them sleep, and being told they would rather be woken.
It’s tenderness.

Love is waking up to find the subject of the dream you were having asleep on your shoulder.
It’s where fantasy meets reality.

Love is being there to wake your lover slowly.
It’s sensuousness.

Love is two people only taking up a third of a queen-sized bed.
It’s closeness.

Love belatedly knows why you bothered to buy a queen-sized bed three years ago.
It’s practicality.

Love is opening your medicine cabinet finding your tube of toothpaste turned into a pretzel.
It’s adaptation.

Love knows you gave the extra set of keys to your apartment to the right person.
It’s trust.

Love is saying good-bye and knowing you will be back by mutual consent.
It’s faith.

Love is sitting at the window, looking out and remembering who you were with the night before.
It’s reflection.

Love is stories that will never be told.
It’s personal.