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Truth About Software Engineers

October 8, 2009 Farghana 4 comments
10% of Software Professionals are predicted to be affected by major diseases like Carpal tunnel syndrome, heart diseases etc
20% of Software Professionals marry their co-workers
30% of Software Professionals are interested in Live in relationship because they tend to hate the responsibility both in office and house
40% of Software Professionals are confused about settling down (India or abroad)
50% of Software Professionals has No savings in their Bank Account
60% of Software Professionals are not satisfied with their current wages
70% of Software Professionals work more than 8 hours across globe
80% of Software Professionals live away from their Parents
90% of Software Professionals are NOT HAPPY about their Life, meeting deadlines, client satisfaction, incentives, promotions, increment, onsite trips, wife, children, visa status, and commitments
100% of Software professionals wish they had a choice other than computers in their life at least once in their lifetime
  • 10% of Software Professionals are predicted to be affected by major diseases like Carpal tunnel syndrome, heart diseases etc
  • 20% of Software Professionals marry their co-workers
  • 30% of Software Professionals are interested in Live in relationship because they tend to hate the responsibility both in office and house
  • 40% of Software Professionals are confused about settling down (India or abroad)
  • 50% of Software Professionals has No savings in their Bank Account
  • 60% of Software Professionals are not satisfied with their current wages
  • 70% of Software Professionals work more than 8 hours across globe
  • 80% of Software Professionals live away from their Parents
  • 90% of Software Professionals are NOT HAPPY about their Life, meeting deadlines, client satisfaction, incentives, promotions, increment, onsite trips, wife, children, visa status, and commitments
  • 100% of Software professionals wish they had a choice other than computers in their life at least once in their lifetime
Categories: Humor, Interesting, Life, Technology

How Many Languages Do You Know?

October 8, 2009 Farghana 1 comment

SoftwareEngineer

Are you Ready for the Fully Integrated ID Card System?

August 11, 2009 Farghana 1 comment
You know Nandan Nilekani is invited by Govt to device a fool proof identity card for all Indians !!! It will be great if this happens !! And I am sure ours will be best integrated system in the whole world :)
Below is a small inkling of how foolproof the system is going to be :)
When we all have the UID card this could be one such conversation….
************* Conversation ********************
Operator : “Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your…”
Customer: “Heloo, can I order..”
Operator : “Can I have your multi purpose ID card number first, Sir?”
Customer: “It’s he…, hold…….. ..on….. .889861356102049 998-45-54610″
Operator : “OK… You’re… Mr Singh and you’re calling from 17 Jal
Vayu. Your home number is 22678893, your office 25076666 and your
mobile is 09869798888. Which number are you calling from now Sir?”
Customer: “Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : “We are connected to the system Sir”
Customer: “May I order your Seafood Pizza…”
Operator : “That’s not a good idea Sir”
Customer: “How come?”
Operator : “According to your medical records, you have high blood
pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir”
Customer: “What?… What do you recommend then?”
Operator : “Try our Low Fat Pizza. You’ll like it”
Customer: “How do you know for sure?”
Operator : “You borrowed a book entitled “Popular Dishes” from the
National Library last week Sir”
Customer: “OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then, how
much will that cost?”
Operator : “That should be enough for your family of 05, Sir. The
total is Rs 500.00″
Customer: “Can I pay by! Credit card?”
Operator : “I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card
is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs 23,000.75 since October
last year. That’s not including the late payment charges on your
housing loan, Sir..”
Customer: “I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw
some cash before your guy arrives”
Operator : “You can’t Sir. Based on the records, you’ve reached your
daily limit on machine withdrawal today”
Customer: “Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have the cash ready.
How long is it gonna take anyway?”
Operator : “About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can’t wait you can always
come and collect it on your Nano Car…”
Customer: ” What!”
Operator : “According to the details in system ,you own a Nano
car,…registration number GZ-05-AB-1107. .”
Customer: ” ????”
Operator : “Is there anything else Sir?”
Customer: “Nothing… By the way… Aren’t you giving me that 3 free
bottles of cola as advertised?”
Operator : “We normally would Sir, but based on your records you’re
also diabetic…. … “
Customer: #$^%&$@$% ^
Operator : “Better watch your language Sir.. Remember on 15th July
2010 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman… ?”
Customer: [Faints]
You know Nandan Nilekani is invited by Govt to devise a fool proof identity card for all Indians!!! It will be great if this happens!!
Below is a small inkling of how foolproof the system is going to be :)
When we all have the UID card this could be one such conversation….
************* Conversation ********************
Operator : “Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your…”
Customer: “Heloo, can I order..”
Operator : “Can I have your multi purpose ID card number first, Sir?”
Customer: “It’s he…, hold…….. ..on….. .889861356102049 998-45-54610″
Operator : “OK… You’re… Mr Singh and you’re calling from 17 Jal
Vayu. Your home number is 22678893, your office 25076666 and your
mobile is 09869798888. Which number are you calling from now Sir?”
Customer: “Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : “We are connected to the system Sir”
Customer: “May I order your Seafood Pizza…”
Operator : “That’s not a good idea Sir”
Customer: “How come?”
Operator : “According to your medical records, you have high blood
pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir”
Customer: “What?… What do you recommend then?”
Operator : “Try our Low Fat Pizza. You’ll like it”
Customer: “How do you know for sure?”
Operator : “You borrowed a book entitled “Popular Dishes” from the
National Library last week Sir”
Customer: “OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then, how
much will that cost?”
Operator : “That should be enough for your family of 05, Sir. The
total is Rs 500.00″
Customer: “Can I pay by! Credit card?”
Operator : “I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card
is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs 23,000.75 since October
last year. That’s not including the late payment charges on your
housing loan, Sir..”
Customer: “I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw
some cash before your guy arrives”
Operator : “You can’t Sir. Based on the records, you’ve reached your
daily limit on machine withdrawal today”
Customer: “Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have the cash ready.
How long is it gonna take anyway?”
Operator : “About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can’t wait you can always
come and collect it on your Nano Car…”
Customer: ” What!”
Operator : “According to the details in system ,you own a Nano
car,…registration number GZ-05-AB-1107. .”
Customer: ” ????”
Operator : “Is there anything else Sir?”
Customer: “Nothing… By the way… Aren’t you giving me that 3 free
bottles of cola as advertised?”
Operator : “We normally would Sir, but based on your records you’re
also diabetic…. … “
Customer: #$$^%&$@$% ^
Operator : “Better watch your language Sir.. Remember on 15th July
2010 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman… ?”
Customer: [Faints]

Gmail goes Offline!

January 29, 2009 Farghana Leave a comment

Guess what’s cooking at Google Labs? Not cooking anymore, rather already served but only to user of US or UK English. Offline Support for Gmail!

With Offline Support for Gmail you can now use Gmail without an Internet connection, just like you can with desktop mail clients like Outlook. Yes, web-based email is great because you can check it from any computer, but there’s one little catch: it’s inherently limited by your internet connection. But with Offline Gmail support, as per Google’s Andy Palay “as long as you’re connected to the network, that cache is synchronized with Gmail’s servers. When you lose your connection, Gmail automatically switches to offline mode, and uses the data stored on your computer’s hard drive instead of the information sent across the network. You can read messages, star and label them, and do all of the things you’re used to doing while reading your webmail online. Any messages you send while offline will be placed in your outbox and automatically sent the next time Gmail detects a connection.”

Here’s the video explaining how it all works:
 

This feature is experimental and hence you may face certain bugs that still needs fixing. You can find it via “Labs” under the “Settings” tab.

Follow these steps to get started:

  1. Click Settings and click the Labs tab.
  2. Select Enable next to Offline Gmail.
  3. Click Save Changes. 

You are done. Now when your browser reloads, you’ll see a new “Offline0.1″ link in the upper righthand corner of your account, next to your username. Click this link to start the offline set up process and download Gears if you don’t already have it.

Google Chrome – Mini Review

September 4, 2008 Farghana 2 comments

 

Google Chrome Logo

Tried the new web browser by Google – Chrome. Just as all Google products..its neat and nifty. Plenty of screen space. Title bar space has been used for tabs and no status bar. The entire look is so clean and fresh. You will love it. Ever since I downloaded I have been using it. 

 

Bookmarking made so much easier, just click the star icon at the left edge of the address bar and there you go.. it’s done. 

Want to open a tab in a new window?? Just drag the tab out of the browser to open it in new window. Drag a window into the tab of another chrome window and its integrated into that window as a tab.. you have to experience it.

The address bar, which Google calls the “omnibox” doubles as a search box. As youtype in, it automatically suggests realted queries and websites, that you might be looking for.

Incognito mode lets you browse through sites which wont be stored in your browsing history. One can browse normally and in incognito mode at the same time in separate windows.

However, having used FireFox, am missing on the various addons. Hoping that Google Chrome will be coming out with a whole lot of addons too.

One thing I expected was Google Toolbar integrated into Chrome by default. It’s missing and there isn’t any available for Chrome.  :(

One drawback I have experienced is that if at times one of your tabs is hung, you cannot navigate to other tabs. This in particular happens when you are playing a video.

Google Chrome Releases Today

September 2, 2008 Farghana 15 comments

Google is set to launch its own Web browser. It promises to be more quicker and secure than others. It is not not just a browser, but also a modern platform for web pages and applications, and that’s what we set out to build as quoted by Pichai and Upson.

Chrome organizes information into tabbed pages, as in major web browsers. However, Chrome features the tab bar above the address bar. Web programs can be launched in their own dedicated windows. It also offers a variety of features to make the browser more stable and secure, according to the comic book guide.

Once released on Tuesday September 2nd, 2008, the browser can be downloaded at www.google.com/chrome/.

The Chrome download page was briefly live — long enough for some screen shots of the new Google browser to leak out.  ;) So here is a sneak preview:

Chrome Screen Shots

Technical Terminology in Non-technical World

February 5, 2008 Farghana 2 comments

LOG ON :
Adding wood to make the barbie hotter.

LOG OFF:

Not adding any more wood to the barbie.

MONITOR:
Keeping an eye on the barbie.

DOWNLOAD:
Getting the firewood off the ute.

HARD DRIVE:
Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies.

KEYBOARD:
Where you hang the ute keys.

WINDOW:
What you shut when the weather’s cold.

SCREEN:
What you shut in the mozzie season.

BYTE:
What mozzies do.

MEGABYTE:
What Townsville mozzies do.

CHIP:
A bar snack.

MICROCHIP:

What’s left in the bag after you’ve eaten the chips.

MODEM:
What you did to the lawns.

LAPTOP:
Where the cat sleeps.

SOFTWARE:
Plastic knives & forks.

HARDWARE:
Stainless steel knives & forks.

MOUSE:

The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.

MAINFRAME:
What holds the shed up.

WEB:

What spiders make.

WEBSITE:

Usually in the shed or under the verandah.

SEARCH ENGINE:

What you do when the ute won’t go.

CURSOR:
What you say when the ute won’t go.

YAHOO:
What you say when the ute does go.

UPGRADE:
A steep hill.

SERVER:
The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.

MAIL SERVER:
The bloke at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.

USER:

The neighbour who keeps borrowing things.

NETWORK:
What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.

INTERNET:
Where you want the fish to go.

NETSCAPE:

What the fish do when they discover the hole in the net.

ONLINE:
Where you hang the washing.

OFFLINE:
Where the washing end’s up when the pegs aren’t strong enough.

Slang help -
Barbie: Barbecue
Mozzie: Mosquitoes
Ute: Utility Vehicle

River IQ Game

December 13, 2007 Farghana 9 comments

Tried the River IQ Game? This a very interesting game which gets frustrating as your trials at getting all the people across the river is a failure and results in some punches. It took me 10 mins. to crack it and tell you don’t think the first time you have done it the next time you will be able to do it quick ..it will take another round of logical thinking and strategic planning to get them all there!!

The instructions are in Japanese, I guess, am not sure though. But don’t get worried..just click on the big blue circle to start and assuming that you all do not read Japanese, here are the instructions in English ;)

  • To move the people, click on them.
  • To move the raft, click on the pole on the opposite side of the river.

Rules

  • Only 2 people can be on the raft at the same time
  • The Father cannot be left alone with either or both of the daughters without their Mother
  • The Mother cannot be left alone with either or both of the sons without their Father
  • The thief (the redhead in the striped shirt) cannot stay with any family member if the Policeman is not there — she gets violent
  • Only the adults (the Father, the Mother and the Policeman) know how to operate the raft

Click on the image below to start your trip.

River IQ Game

So go on give it a try and let me know how long did you take to get everybody across the river.

I have Gmail 2.0..what about you?

November 7, 2007 Farghana Leave a comment

Hey me got the new version of Gmail…what about you all…??? Well to be sure if you have the latest version ..login to your Gmail account and look at the top right of the page and if you see a link for “Older Version,” that means you have the new Gmail!! Simple!!

Well let me explore as to what new features does version 2.0 has in store for us…well its much more faster, (most important reason why I just love Gmail) addition of features like mail prefetching – which means they prefetch messages in the current view, so when you open an email your browser doesn’t have to talk to Google’s server; it just displays the message….and then there is a different drop-down menu, a new contacts manager, some new keyboard shortcuts and the ability to bookmark specific messages and email searches.

To see detailed screen shots of the various pages and new features go here.

Categories: Interesting, Technology

“Chupke se Aaye” – Atif again

June 14, 2007 Farghana 23 comments

Yes yes..I know..I m writing too much about music and songs…and yes it’s Atif again..can’t really help…he just keeps on churning out these lovely songs….and this one is called “Chupke se Aaye” but unfortunately just got to listen to the song…but couldn’t find the video..and really wanted people to listen to the song….but cant upload mp3 to YouTube :( ….so in my quest to let the world know of the song…came across a very helpful tool and thank God WordPress supports it. So here it is my first show on SplashCast..I jus love it. So all you Atif fans …say thanks to me….n enjoy!!! :)

Artist:Atif Alsam
Album: Hangaami Halat
Song: Chupke se Aaye (Kyun Chor Gaye Raaste)

And people, specially girls, if you want get these lovely pictures of Atif, it’s all here.

Updated:

In the excitement of discovering SplashCast and getting this show done, I just forgot to discuss the beauty of this song “Chup se Aaye” (or is it Kyun Chor Gaye Raaste..anyway..what’s there in a name!!) from his unreleased album…I guess it’s titled “Hungaami Halat”.
Again, a mind blowing song by Atif Aslam. My God how does he write such great songs..anyone in love or not will definitely fall in love with his songs….for me..his songs just reflect my feelings…no wonder …..his songs are so close to my heart!!! And the lyrics…..uff…so heart-touching..just love them.. so here are the lyrics of Kyun Chor Gaye…..not lyrics should call them poetry… :)

Chupke se aaye yaad teri yahaan
Sirf main jaanoon tu hai kahaan kahaan

Hawa tum, nasha tum.
Meri raahaton ka pata tum
Mere aibon ko jo dhank de
Woh paak si rida tum

Kyun chor gaye raaste
Kabhi saath chale thhe jin pe

Kab tak bharoon khud mein junoon
Tum na milo toh kaise sahoon
Apni wafa pe hai toh yakeen
Tum saath na do toh kya main karoon

hooo hooo hoo hoo hoo
naaaa na nanaaa naaaa na nanaaa naaaa na nanaaa

Kyun chor gaye raaste
Kabhi saath chale thhe jin pe