2 states – the story of my marriage

Chetan Bhagat’s last book 3 mistakes of my life had left me totally disappointed. I couldn’t even go through 2 chapters of “3 mistakes”. The book still lies in my book rack, half-read begging to be completed. But I don’t think I am in any mood to do so in the near future. One Night @ the Call Centre also was not so great compared to five point someone, the best we have had from the author till date.  It was the built up of Five point that kept me going and complete the second one.  However, thanks God, he is back in form after these two disasters.

Next to five point someone, it is absolutely hilarious and fun going through the book – fast paced, no time to blink here. ‘2 states: the story of my marriage’ picks up where ‘five point someone’ left off. It’s an against-all-odds love story about commitment and resolve. The story is told through protagonist Krish, a Punjabi boy after he falls for a Tamil girl, Ananya. The colloquial humor of Chetan’s writing is the highlight of the book.  The wit and sarcasm stand out and are worth quite a few LOL moments. 2 states is an easy read. Every Indian who watches Bollywood knows the twist in this story. Yet you must read this book once, if only to know what lovers from different communities go through at the hands of their families. How love is at mercy of societal, familial norms. How love can drive you crazy. I could totally identify with Krish’s condition when he uses another person’s cellphone to call up Ananya as she ignores all his calls  or when he can’t take Ananya’s silence any more and flies to her for a day! When the person you love rejects you it makes you do things insane! Though many have  issue  that the endings are predictable, and that the premise seems similar every time. But c’mon guys don’t you want your life to be happy…I like stories which end with happily ever after.
In short, a nice and entertaining book. Not all books are meant to be literary works with complicated plots with twisted sentences. Perfect when you want to read something light and get amused.

Coffee Cup Analogy

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university lecturer. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the lecturer went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, some plain-looking and some expensive and exquisite, telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the lecturer said: “If you noticed, all the nice-looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the better cups and are eyeing each other’s cups.”

“Now, if Life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn’t change. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it.”

So please, don’t let the cups drive you…enjoy the coffee instead. Being happy does not mean everything is perfect.

It means you have decided to see beyond the imperfection

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university lecturer. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the lecturer went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, some plain-looking and some expensive and exquisite, telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the lecturer said: “If you noticed, all the nice-looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the better cups and are eyeing each other’s cups.”

“Now, if Life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn’t change. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it.”

So please, don’t let the cups drive you…enjoy the coffee instead.

Being happy does not mean everything is perfect.  It means you have decided to see beyond the imperfection.

Truth About Software Engineers

10% of Software Professionals are predicted to be affected by major diseases like Carpal tunnel syndrome, heart diseases etc

20% of Software Professionals marry their co-workers

30% of Software Professionals are interested in Live in relationship because they tend to hate the responsibility both in office and house

40% of Software Professionals are confused about settling down (India or abroad)

50% of Software Professionals has No savings in their Bank Account

60% of Software Professionals are not satisfied with their current wages

70% of Software Professionals work more than 8 hours across globe

80% of Software Professionals live away from their Parents

90% of Software Professionals are NOT HAPPY about their Life, meeting deadlines, client satisfaction, incentives, promotions, increment, onsite trips, wife, children, visa status, and commitments

100% of Software professionals wish they had a choice other than computers in their life at least once in their lifetime

• 10% of Software Professionals are predicted to be affected by major diseases like Carpal tunnel syndrome, heart diseases etc
• 20% of Software Professionals marry their co-workers
• 30% of Software Professionals are interested in Live in relationship because they tend to hate the responsibility both in office and house
• 40% of Software Professionals are confused about settling down (India or abroad)
• 50% of Software Professionals has No savings in their Bank Account
• 60% of Software Professionals are not satisfied with their current wages
• 70% of Software Professionals work more than 8 hours across globe
• 80% of Software Professionals live away from their Parents
• 90% of Software Professionals are NOT HAPPY about their Life, meeting deadlines, client satisfaction, incentives, promotions, increment, onsite trips, wife, children, visa status, and commitments
• 100% of Software professionals wish they had a choice other than computers in their life at least once in their lifetime

How Many Languages Do You Know?

I am Free!

Are you Ready for the Fully Integrated ID Card System?

You know Nandan Nilekani is invited by Govt to device a fool proof identity card for all Indians !!! It will be great if this happens !! And I am sure ours will be best integrated system in the whole world

Below is a small inkling of how foolproof the system is going to be

When we all have the UID card this could be one such conversation….

************* Conversation ********************

Operator : “Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your…”

Customer: “Heloo, can I order..”

Operator : “Can I have your multi purpose ID card number first, Sir?”

Customer: “It’s he…, hold…….. ..on….. .889861356102049 998-45-54610″

Operator : “OK… You’re… Mr Singh and you’re calling from 17 Jal

Vayu. Your home number is 22678893, your office 25076666 and your

mobile is 09869798888. Which number are you calling from now Sir?”

Customer: “Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : “We are connected to the system Sir”

Customer: “May I order your Seafood Pizza…”

Operator : “That’s not a good idea Sir”

Customer: “How come?”

Operator : “According to your medical records, you have high blood

pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir”

Customer: “What?… What do you recommend then?”

Operator : “Try our Low Fat Pizza. You’ll like it”

Customer: “How do you know for sure?”

Operator : “You borrowed a book entitled “Popular Dishes” from the

National Library last week Sir”

Customer: “OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then, how

much will that cost?”

Operator : “That should be enough for your family of 05, Sir. The

total is Rs 500.00″

Customer: “Can I pay by! Credit card?”

Operator : “I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card

is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs 23,000.75 since October

last year. That’s not including the late payment charges on your

housing loan, Sir..”

Customer: “I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw

some cash before your guy arrives”

Operator : “You can’t Sir. Based on the records, you’ve reached your

daily limit on machine withdrawal today”

Customer: “Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have the cash ready.

How long is it gonna take anyway?”

Operator : “About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can’t wait you can always

come and collect it on your Nano Car…”

Customer: ” What!”

Operator : “According to the details in system ,you own a Nano

car,…registration number GZ-05-AB-1107. .”

Customer: ” ????”

Operator : “Is there anything else Sir?”

Customer: “Nothing… By the way… Aren’t you giving me that 3 free

bottles of cola as advertised?”

Operator : “We normally would Sir, but based on your records you’re

also diabetic…. … “

Customer: #$^%&$@$% ^

Operator : “Better watch your language Sir.. Remember on 15th July

2010 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman… ?”

Customer: [Faints]

You know Nandan Nilekani is invited by Govt to devise a fool proof identity card for all Indians!!! It will be great if this happens!!

Below is a small inkling of how foolproof the system is going to be

When we all have the UID card this could be one such conversation….

************* Conversation ********************

Operator : “Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your…”

Customer: “Heloo, can I order..”

Operator : “Can I have your multi purpose ID card number first, Sir?”

Customer: “It’s he…, hold…….. ..on….. .889861356102049 998-45-54610″

Operator : “OK… You’re… Mr Singh and you’re calling from 17 Jal

Vayu. Your home number is 22678893, your office 25076666 and your

mobile is 09869798888. Which number are you calling from now Sir?”

Customer: “Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : “We are connected to the system Sir”

Customer: “May I order your Seafood Pizza…”

Operator : “That’s not a good idea Sir”

Customer: “How come?”

Operator : “According to your medical records, you have high blood

pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir”

Customer: “What?… What do you recommend then?”

Operator : “Try our Low Fat Pizza. You’ll like it”

Customer: “How do you know for sure?”

Operator : “You borrowed a book entitled “Popular Dishes” from the

National Library last week Sir”

Customer: “OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then, how

much will that cost?”

Operator : “That should be enough for your family of 05, Sir. The

total is Rs 500.00″

Customer: “Can I pay by! Credit card?”

Operator : “I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card

is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs 23,000.75 since October

last year. That’s not including the late payment charges on your

housing loan, Sir..”

Customer: “I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw

some cash before your guy arrives”

Operator : “You can’t Sir. Based on the records, you’ve reached your

daily limit on machine withdrawal today”

Customer: “Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have the cash ready.

How long is it gonna take anyway?”

Operator : “About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can’t wait you can always

come and collect it on your Nano Car…”

Customer: ” What!”

Operator : “According to the details in system ,you own a Nano

car,…registration number GZ-05-AB-1107. .”

Customer: ” ????”

Operator : “Is there anything else Sir?”

Customer: “Nothing… By the way… Aren’t you giving me that 3 free

bottles of cola as advertised?”

Operator : “We normally would Sir, but based on your records you’re

also diabetic…. … “

Customer: #$$^%&$@$% ^

Operator : “Better watch your language Sir.. Remember on 15th July

2010 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman… ?”

Customer: [Faints]

Does Love Make You Weak?

Being on love (yes, not *in* but *rather *on*) makes you go through so many different emotions and feeling strong is certainly one of them. But, by being in love you allow yourself to become vulnerable to any type of potential damage (either directed to your ego or toward your spirits).

The very first feeling that attaches itself to (right after realizing that very “moment”) your every act is, perhaps, how mesmerized you are by this human being and how you really yearn to be closer to him/her. And somehow, reason tends to disappear when s/he is around. You are a bit more likely to make hazardous decisions just to be a bit more closer.

However, love does not make everyone *weak* in the knees, I think love makes the *weak*, weak-er and makes the *strong*, strong-er. That includes the unrequited lover the one who is not able to, or who does not allow him/her self to confess. That also includes the lovers who are able to express their love openly, they tend to bring more strength into each other’s lives just by showing how much they care and how much they are willing to undergo in life to keep their love *alive*…

Sometimes keeping things alive requires more strength then one is willing to give and that is when it gets dark, unjust and unsafe… Love, at times, may feel as though we are getting weaker by the minute; yet it is not only because of love when we feel weak, it is also because of the fear of losing it…

My personal opinion is that fear and weakness need not be a part of, what we call and carry in our hearts, “love”. The net load of love shall feed our desire to become stronger and it shall help us realize that we are lucky to have discovered such euphoria; therefore, let it circulate in our system and have it be an inspiration, have it be vast, have it diverge to infinity if you can afford to do so…

Being in makes you go through so many different emotions and feeling strong is certainly one of them. But, by being in love you allow yourself to become vulnerable to any type of potential damage whcih can be either directed to your ego or toward your spirits.

The very first feeling that attaches itself to (right after realizing that very “moment”) your every act is, perhaps, how mesmerized you are by this human being and how you really yearn to be closer to him/her. And somehow, reason tends to disappear when s/he is around. You are a bit more likely to make hazardous decisions just to be a bit more closer.

However, love does not make everyone weak in the knees, I think love makes the weak, weak-er and makes the strong, strong-er. That includes the unrequited lover the one who is not able to, or who does not allow him/her self to confess. That also includes the lovers who are able to express their love openly, they tend to bring more strength into each other’s lives just by showing how much they care and how much they are willing to undergo in life to keep their love alive…

Sometimes keeping things alive requires more strength then one is willing to give and that is when it gets dark, unjust and unsafe… Love, at times, may feel as though we are getting weaker by the minute; yet it is not love that makes you weak, rather it is the fear of losing it.

My personal opinion is that fear and weakness need not be a part of, what we call and carry in our hearts, “love”. The net load of love should feed our desire to become stronger and it should help us realize that we are lucky to have discovered such euphoria; therefore, let it circulate in our system and have it be an inspiration, have it be vast, have it diverge to infinity if you can afford to do so.

You need a Shark in your Life!

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But the waters close to Japan have not held many fish for decades.

So to feed the Japanese population, fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever. The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring in the fish. If the return trip took more than a few days, the fish were not fresh. The Japanese did not like the taste.

To solve this problem, fishing companies installed freezers on their boats. They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer. However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen and they did not like frozen fish.

The frozen fish brought a lower price. So fishing companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks. After a little thrashing around, the fish stopped moving. They were tired and dull, but alive. Unfortunately, the Japanese could still taste the difference. Because the fish did not move for days, they lost their fresh-fish taste.

The Japanese preferred the lively taste of fresh fish, not sluggish fish. So how did Japanese fishing companies solve this problem? How do they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan? If you were consulting the fish industry, what would you recommend?

How Japanese Fish Stay Fresh:

To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks. But now they add a small shark to each tank. The shark eats a few fish, but most of the fish arrive in a very lively state. The fish are challenged.

Have you realized that some of us are also living in a pond but most of the time tired & dull, so we need a Shark in our life to keep us awake and moving?

Basically in our lives Sharks are new challenges to keep us active and taste better….. The more intelligent, persistent and competent you are, the more you enjoy a challenge. If your challenges are the correct size, and if you are steadily conquering those challenges, you are Conqueror.. You think of your challenges and get energized. You are excited to try new solutions. You have fun. You are alive!

Marital Woes

Really found these funny. Good for a laugh!!!

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

*********

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.

Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

*********

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

*********

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

*********

It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered

*********

It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives.

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If u r married please ignore this MSG,
For everyone else: Happy Independence Day

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Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.
After marriage, he’ll fall asleep before you finish.

*********

There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage

*********

Girlfriends r like chocolates, taste good anytime.

Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.

Wife r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice.

*********

Man receives telegram: Wife deadshould be buried or cremated?
Man: Don’t take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

*********

Prospective husband: Do you have a book called ‘Man, The Master of Women’?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

*********

Q: Why dogs don’t marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog’s life!

*********

There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going through hell.

*********

Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!

*********

Q: Why doesn’t law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!

Happy Mother’s Day

A man stopped at a flower shop for ordering some flowers to be sent as a gift to his mother who lived two hundred miles away.

As he got out of his car he noticed a young girl sitting on the curb sobbing. He asked her what was wrong and she replied, “I wanted to buy a red rose for my mother. But I only have seventy-five cents, and a rose costs two dollars.”

The man smiled and said, “Come on in with me. I’ll buy you a rose.” He bought the little girl her rose and ordered his own mother’s flowers.

As they were leaving he offered the girl a ride home. She said, “Yes, please! You can take me to my mother.”

She directed him to a cemetery, where she placed the rose on a freshly dug grave. The man returned to the flower shop, canceled the gifting order, picked up a bouquet and drove the two hundred miles to his mother’s house.
At times we take many such relationships with our family and friends for granted. Learn to value them.

Best Wishes for Mothers Day!