Love, Separation, Pain ………..


Coping with separation specially when you are in love can be one of the hardest experiences life hands us. Although the circumstances of separation for a short time, are difficult, the hope of the person’s return makes the separation much easier for us to handle. However the intense emotional pain that comes along with it is very difficult to overcome.

For those who say that separation is easy, they don’t really know what it is to love someone. It’s a bold statement, but trust me, through distance, your heart really does grow fonder, through the thousands of miles of separation, you realize that you are missing something. Life goes on without them by your side… The mornings will greet you and the nights might bid you to sleep.. and yet, the sweetness of the morning breeze… and the sparkle of the night air is not the same..there will be a feeling of something missing.. an emptiness…. you just wish like having the most hectic days of life.. because it gives you a chance to fill a void that is always present within you but …as the day slows down… the memory of your love catches up.. and the longing of this aching heart begins to creep up within …and the hope that someday both will be together again is the only thing that keeps you going.

It is the distance that makes life a little hard. But then again distance between two hearts is not an obstacle; rather a great reminder of just how strong true love can be.

If you have ever been infatuated, you would have realized that infatuation is weakened by time and separation where real love is strengthened by time and separation. This does not mean that there will be no pain in separation. On the contrary, there is great pain in separation if you are truly in love. As I have realized from personal experience the greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the pain.

“There is one pain I often feel, which you will never know. It is caused by the absence of you.”

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42 thoughts on “Love, Separation, Pain ………..

  1. Whats happening Why sudddenly this seperation and pain…………..

  2. @vikram

    someone went away to the States :( leaving me all alone here!! That’s painful. :(

  3. I just had to say that what you wrote here was gorgeous! It’s so true and we live on with our lives and the mornings and nights are not quite the same, and even when things feel back to normal in your life, it doesn’t inside all the time.

    Beautifully written and bookmarked!

  4. Beautiful thoughts expressed in a wonderful way. This made me realize that even I am missing someone very much :(

  5. Beautiful thoughts expressed in a wonderful way. This made me realize that even I am missing someone very much :(

  6. @Shoaib

    Now do you realise.. how hard it is!!! :(

  7. The words are wonderful and beautiful.
    Biut it can only be felt by one who are undergoing such situation.
    I love my life-partner.
    And only thing that kills me is that she does not have a heart.

  8. Emptiness and separation are two cold hands.

  9. What if the separation is for life. It is not distance between two people but misunderstanding which spoils the relation. The only solution here “Let it go….”

  10. wt u wrote touched me inside, i m goin thru d same thng, its hard to bear separtion..i m gettin drowned inside me..in search f my love…in search f tht presence whch i used to cherish always.

  11. Now the distance between us is a time to love u more…as love is the shortest distance between us..i know our love is stronger..I am ready to battle anything for u..and give you all I have…
    still remember the look in your eye. The rainy day you told me goodbye..
    Its so situational fa me…!..

  12. I don’t even know what to do – sigh – I just don’t know what I am going to do about being separate from a good friend of mine. I just – it’s just so painful. I have tried letting go but…I just don’t know how i am gonna deal with this pain it’s insane. Please pray for me. Please. This is ridiculous.

  13. omg….. you;ve write it down so perfectly,,,, and so beautiful!! i’ve lived for 3years without the love of my life… cause he was forced 2 stay in his country…. but thnk god now we are married verry lucky and almost having a babygirl!!

  14. all wat u wrote is truly marvellous n so beautifully framed in ur words of true love. She hs gone fr 10 days n we both r missing so much like hell. Feelng lyk killng maself cz i cnt stay widout hr evn a single moment. This separation is so damn painful. Truly missing the times that we shared, the times wn we wer togethr hand in hand, the tyms wen we kissd….. Dying to meet hr, hug hr n make hr feel dat hw realy i love hr..

  15. bt dis separation , in a way is necessary cz it makes u truly realise dat hw really u luv ur dat special someone n u cnt frame urlyf widout dat special someone. Life is incomplete widout dem. Wanna die, wanna cry….. Bt d nly thng dat keeps u goin is d ‘HOPE’ dat one day u both wil be togethr once again..

  16. FALLING IN LOVE IS D BEST THNG IN LYF……

  17. S the pain of separation is unimaginable,to feel the pain the love should be true,

  18. everythng was beautiful when in love.
    Everythng has become awful after separation:-(

  19. love is a feeling so true nd pure 2 experievce…nd much more painful ven lost …. :'(

  20. me and my partner are in same city. But she dnt cl me 4m a week. Im feelng lyk i ve nothing in this world 4 me. After readng this post,my heart cryng lyk hel.

  21. I must admit that u hv really been able to articulate pain into words. Sepaeration is truly the acid test for true love

  22. @Farghaha
    wow…this is exactly what I am about to experience. I am a college bound man…and the love of my life and I are about to encounter the biggest struggle to date-sepatation. I am really holding on to the time we have now…but it is so hard knowing that college will hit and our love will be tested. We are promising to each other to truly enjoy the time we have and make memories…loving, hopeful, enduring memories. So during this time of strife..maybe it will be the best time of our lives. Love filled air and mourning for the other’s return. Bound by love, here we go. I just started a blog (http://jkhappyday.wordpress.com) explaining my day to day thoughts, feelings, hardships, and emotions that involve this heart mourning, but maturing experience.
    I would love to hear what everyone has to say-
    jkhappyday

  23. Just so true and perfect…

  24. True lover never leaves his beloved
    and his value z known when he/she z absent!!!

  25. if your be capricious then she will go with someone else and you stay that she would come back and help you the separation, separation is bull shit for capricious people,

  26. Supeb presentation.really great.

  27. Hi, True & heart touching. I am facing the same situation, i got a separation forever, my love will never come back i cried a lot i did everything for my love but still i am alone.

  28. Hi, its tru , when you are in deep love the feeling of absence of the person is deep. there is not a moment in life that you do not forget your love. with every breath you remember you love. the pain is still more when you know that you cannot be together . i am just standing at the door step and having hope for my love to return back.

  29. Anna :
    omg….. you;ve write it down so perfectly,,,, and so beautiful!! i’ve lived for 3years without the love of my life… cause he was forced 2 stay in his country…. but thnk god now we are married verry lucky and almost having a babygirl!!

    Wow! that is sooo great… I wish when I g out of my country, our love still works…

  30. i am writing from a bloody heart…i got to your article after googling ‘how to deal with pain of separation in relationships’…im going insane with the raw pain of a separation from a love-relationship that happened last night…woke up in the morning with that unberable chest pain….was looking for a way to alleviate it..i decided to cut off my feelings…took a paper and drew a big black circle, then cut it out with a scissor. This article described this feelings very acurately and helped me to identify my feelings. It was very releaving to understand that what im going through is just a normal human reaction of a true lost love. Perhaps its healthier and more effective to appraoch our painful feelings rather than ignore and running away from them with denial. I just dont know if i will ever be able to live without this pain or if it will ever get better. At least i hope the pain wont get stronger. Good luck for all, and thanks for the sansational article

  31. Hi chayuky,

    I am really have sympathy towards you, I can understand what are the things you are suffering now. But be strong and try to come out from that pain.

  32. This mended me and opened my eyes to that inparticular feeling I understand the concept of seperation now and thank you for this explination. I valu your thoughts and cherish your statements because its deep and a very bold move you mad to share it with everybody through your pain you allowed everybody else to see through theres and that alone is a testamonie.
    have a great easter!

  33. im leaving a separation situation i still love my boy i dont know what 2do he said that we should separate a periode of time. i wanna take a rest you heart me a lot

  34. Sorry to say but i am thinking that your boy friend is not a true lover that is why he just trying to escape from you,,, you know a true lovers always want to be in touch or any mode of communication they want ..!!!

  35. You are the my teacher of love. I can not think about other person beside you. I love only for you through out my soul. this is real truth my dear. please come again and give me only your real love. Don’t give your cruel love. I want you my life…

  36. very true Shifa , my guy gave 1000,s of reasons and vanished from my life, but i got his point that he was passing his time for 6 long yrs and was bored of me as if i am some toy , each day is a hell for me,,,, i cry and sleep each day , i don’t know y i have this hope that he would come back when i know that he wont… 6 yrs of his love has been lost in 6 mins for him but for me i am suffering this pain every moment …. y do guys even propose when they cant keep their words…. so sad that he even made me meet his mum and she does not have control over his stupid thoughts. Stupid woman with a stupid son … wish she suffers the same pain as my mum does when she looks at me , even her daughter should feel this pain may be then she would know wat i am feeling and my guy should realize wats true love .

  37. Hi Alisha, Totally I am agree with you & I have advice, from now We should not care any boy don’t believe on them. If we believe that is our stupidity. Again this boys will get chance to play with our hearts.

  38. Pingback: Love, Pain & Separation | pOetiQ rOses Publishing

  39. I am in the same situation i am crying everyday for my love………she got married to another man…….. i fell in love with her after my marriage………… but eventhough i have my wife and twokids………..my love for her is so pure that i am missing her every second……… when sometimes i call her i fight with her because i love her so much and i am very possessive and dont like her to share the bed with her husband………… i dont really know how she can forget all the relations so easily………. i am not able to do that…………. after seperation now i know how my mind deeply loves her………………… i love u my dear………….. ever whatever u do to know my mind is yours my love…….tears flowing down…….cannot control……….only god should awaken my love in her mind again.

  40. And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation…..

  41. Sweetest dreams to you. The holder of just enough of this heart to make it skip a beat. Maybe I misunderstood, you didnt want to take it from me to hurt me as much as you just wanted to bring it with you to help you. Well hold onto it for as long as you need. But know this, I cant give anymore away. So dont worry about who may be trying to take any because theres no more to give. And I was sneaky, and wasnt totally honest with you. While you werent looking I took a lil piece of yours. Less than you took of mine though because I didnt want to be so greedy that you notice. But you know now huh. A funny lil feeling. Dont know if you need that piece to live or not. Well I dont care because im keeping it forever and if you ask ill tell you that your heart will never be right without it. Nite <3
    Jason k.
    this is a text message to a girl who although I havent known long I feel as though ive always known. She not only compliments my character but makes it clear to me the shortcomings I need to work on. She suggests nothing of me changing but is like a mirror that magnifies my strengths on days I feel weak and my weaknesses at times I have the willingness and courage to change the defects of character I should change. But she works for a jealous unhappy person who doesnt want anyone else happy either. This person is successful at driving wedges between us. We are now living 2 hours away from each other and I am not content after spending nights in each others arms, sleeping in this big bed alone. I want nothing more than for her to let me crack her shell of protection with love. She doesnt want to let me do that because of the inconsistency of her job and our lives coexisting. Im with the thought process that you do what you know to be right and everything will fall into place exactly as it needs to. If it doesnt then it wasn't meant to be and other things will manifest themselves at the right time. I know loving her is right because ive never had someone who made me want to change myself for the better by never asking or suggesting but by just being. My motives are pure and if letting her go was the best thing for her then I would do it with hurt but willingly. My love is unconditional for her. But I dont know if all of this is mutual. I dont know because the walls she has built protect her from letting me too close. What I do know is that I love her because I want to and out of faith that it is reciprocal. True altruism is rare but I believe that when it is felt by the receiver and they realize that you give love without expectation of anything in return that they cant help but to love in return. I may be completely wrong in the way I feel about her but when my heart is screaming yes and my head says youve never wanted to change unless negative consequences forced you to and now you want to so you can treat her with the most love possible. I dont want to give up a girl that makes me feel like the meaning of the last 31 years of my life was to prepare for spending the rest of it with her. All the trials and pain and challenges made me just the man I need to be to begin a life with her. Ten years ago I had no idea what total honesty was. I didnt learn the importance of that in a relationship until the last one. The one that was so painful when it ended that I almost ended. I never thought I would be capable of love again or atleast that there wasnt anyone deserving of it. Then she walks into my life. My plan was to just test the water. I fell straight into the deep end with no life jacket. I have a huge heart capable of huge love but that makes hurt more painful too. The thing is the possibility of pain for trying and being rejected could never be as bad as the pain of the regret of never knowing. Im all in.

  42. it brought tears rolling down my cheeks…

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